I’m being me my dear friend

Hey dear readers,

Two of my best friends had their birthday party last Saturday. They’re twins if you’re wondering how they celebrated it at the same time. It was a fun party, but I got into a discussion with one of my friends. As many of you know, I’m selected for a special price. I can’t tell too much right now, but they’ve already decided who the winner is. But we’ll find out in April. So, we’ve to stand on a stage, looking at one thousand people. I’m not scared, not at all. To be honest, I’ve always wanted to be on a stage in front of so many people.

But why I’m telling you guys about this? Well, of course you need to dress nicely and you need to do your make-up. I’m not really a girly girl. I don’t wear make-up and jewellery and I hate dresses and skirts. You need to do your hair and wearing heels. Well I’ve got news for them: I won’t.

I’m sorry, but they already decided who the winner is so why should I wear a dress and wear make-up? I want to wear black jeans with a white blouse, which you would wear to your work. So, it’s elegant, classy and decently. I want to wear blue or black boots and wear a little bit make-up such as eye shadow and lipstick. But I want to do this by myself, because I don’t want to paint my whole face with those stupid products, sorry for those who do, but I hate it.

So my friend and I got into a fight, well not really a fight, a discussion is a better describing. But anyway, she told me that she wanted to go shopping with me, go to the hairdresser and make sure that I look ‘gorgeous’ and ‘fabulous.’ And of course that’s really nice of her, but I don’t want that. That’s not who I am. I like wearing jeans, shirts and sneakers. I even wear beanies and caps. I love to skateboard and go boxing in a gym. I love boys who do the exact same thing, those who do the extreme sports. I like their clothing style and I’m like: why can’t girls wear that? My style is a combination of comfy, cool and sportive.

So I said to her: what’s wrong with that? And she said: well, you’re a girl. So I was like: yeah, so? Can’t girls wear sneakers or beanies? Why do girls have to dress up nicely? Who invented that? Of course I like my long hair but that doesn’t mean that I can’t wear whatever I like. I’m into guys, and I like to dress as a skater, because I fancy those boys even more. Especially those guys with the amazing abs, biceps and triceps. But also the ones who do amazing tricks and stunts. I just love their (clothing) style, so what’s wrong with that?

I know that Mark isn’t an average boy. He’s into games and movies, just like me. We talked a lot about boxing, fighting and other ‘boy’ stuff. We enjoyed our talks and we laughed every single time. I can always express myself a lot better around boys when I’m on my skateboard and wearing my sneakers and beanie. That’s why I love England too. They’re so many people who dress like me, I’ve seen it before.

That style is not only for boys dear ladies and gentlemen. And those who wear that style can still be into boys. So stop saying otherwise, because you don’t even know every person. I love guys, I love wearing beanies and sneakers and yes I skateboard and do a lot of boxing. But I’m still a girl, a girl who’s being herself. And she loves guys who’re not regular, because she’s not regular too.

What’s your opinion about this? Can girls wear beanies and sneakers or do we need to dress as a girl? And why do you think that? Is it important to you or is it normal for you?

Lots of love, ‘Daphne’

It was a tough week

Hey dear readers,

Why is this world so messed up and so cruel? They hurt one of the things that I love the most in my life. I was so hurt by hearing the news. Why there? What have they done? You know why I love that country? Because they move on and they try to keep their heads held high.

When I heard the news I immediately send a good friend of mine, who lives there, a message. I’m glad she’s okay. I was so angry that I could cry at the same time. For the first time in months I was really broken about something. And I know that there are many who can’t understand why I felt that way, but that’s just who I am, especially when it’s about that country.

And it also reminded me how much I miss Mark. He always told me that everything would be fine when something bad happened or when I felt bad. He knew how to make me smile again. I miss his voice, his laugh, his cute blue eyes and his glasses. I know I’ll see him soon, but not seeing him every day, is still really hard, especially when something like this happens.

One of my friends had a bad fight with his best friend. So I was sad that he felt devastated. I tried to make him happy but he was really heartbroken. I told him that everything would be fine, but he wasn’t sure about that. So a few hours later, he said that his best friend wanted to talk to him. And a day later, they said sorry to each other. They won’t be as close as before, but it’s a new start.

On Thursday, I called with a friend for one hour or so. Her boyfriend broke up with her and she needed a friend. So we talked and laughed. And even though she asked me and I told her, I still have the feeling that people don’t actually ask me how I’m doing. Of course she did, and he also, but my other friends don’t really seem to care about me. Maybe that sounds harsh, but everyone knows that I love that country, and they didn’t ask me how I felt about the news. I don’t know if they didn’t realise it or that they didn’t want to talk about it, I don’t know.

I really hope that it was just a horrible week and that it will be more fun next week. But on Monday I’ll have sports so maybe that’s exactly what I need right now. I mean, I bet we all have a week like this, where you feel really sad and bad. We all have those days that we don’t know what’s wrong with everyone around us. Just those days that you wish you had someone who’ll come over to you and have fun with you.

Do you also have those weeks? Or did you have one recently?

Lots of love, ‘Daphne’

Songs I love | Fucking Perfect

Hey dear readers,

It’s time for a new song that I truly love. Last time I showed you guys the song Crazy performed by the band Simple Plan. This time, it’s the not clean version of Fucking Perfect performed by Pink. There is a possibility that many will understand why this song can mean so much to a person. I think that they’re many people who can share the same feelings as me when they listen to this song.

I got bullied a lot when I was younger. Before I met the band Simple Plan, I wasn’t really into music. That sounds weird, right? But there was a day when I felt terrible after my classmates bullied me and called me names. A few days later, Pink’s song Fucking Perfect came out. It was like a world opened up for me, and I could find myself in the song. This song also reminds me that there a so many people who are still being bullied every day. I wish I could stop it, I wish I could help them. Pink thought the exact same thing and she wrote this song. The strong lyrics are so much more than only words. They describe how it should be, and that you should be happy with who you are.

Made a wrong turn
Once or twice
Dug my way out
Blood and fire
Bad decisions
That’s alright
Welcome to my silly life

Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss ”know it it’s all good”
It didn’t slow me down
Mistaken, always second guessing
Underestimated, look I’m still around

I think that this describes perfectly how someone feels. You think you did something wrong and maybe more than just once. That your life is silly because you made the wrong decisions thanks to the bullying.  For example punching someone, but remember, this is just an example. You’re feeling useless, you feel like you’re a no one. Even though they say things to you, you’re still there. You’re trying to stay strong.

Pretty pretty please don’t you ever ever feel
Like you’re less then, fucking perfect
Pretty pretty please if you ever ever feel
Like you’re nothing you’re fucking perfect, to me

You should always be happy with who you are. You’re perfect just the way you are. Don’t listen to other people; they just want to change you for their own good. And always remember, you are perfect for your friends, family and boyfriend. There are enough people who love you for who you are.

You’re so mean (you’re so mean)
When you talk (when you talk) about yourself
You were wrong, change the voices (change the voices)
In your head (in your head)
Makes them like you instead

This is what you think inside your head. They say things that aren’t true, but you start to believe it. Don’t listen to them; don’t listen to those voices in your head. Change them and make sure that you like yourself. It doesn’t matter if they don’t like you, as long as you like yourself.

So complicated
Look how we all make it
Filled with so much hatred
Such a tired game
It’s enough, I’ve done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons
I see you do the same

It’s complicated and weird why we fill the world with hate. It’s stupid, not necessary and it’s hurting so many people. It’s destroying lives and it’s just enough. People think they’re nothing because people let them think so. You chase down all the bad things, but those are mainly your good things, always remember that.

Now comes the refrain

The whole world scared so I swallow the fear
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer
So cool in lying and we try try try
But we try too hard, and it’s a waste of my time
Done looking for the critics, cuz they’re everywhere
They don’t like my jeans, they don’t get my hair
We strains ourselves and we do it all the time
Why do we do that?
Why do I do that?
Why do I do that?

You want to help the whole world, but unfortunately you can’t. Most people are lying to their loved ones because they don’t want to hurt them. But someday, you stop worrying about those people, because they will always be there. They will always hurt you, even when you’re older. So stop worrying about it and start to live your life. You only have one, so make sure that you stay strong to help others.

Now comes the refrain and several sentences of it sliced in two parts. You’re perfect is the head line in between the refrains.

I guess the song has a clear message. I’ll place the link to the song under this post so that you can listen to it as well. It’s a wonderful song for those who feel bad sometimes. Or for those who just want to hear that they’re perfect. The instruments are very cool and they give more power to the song. Pink’s voice is amazing in this song and you can truly hear that she expresses her feelings during singing.

What’s your opinion about this? Do you think that this song can help people? Or was this song a helpful piece during your youth and teenage life?

Lots of love, ‘Daphne’

Annoying classmates

Hey dear readers,

So Monday I finally went to the concert, and I was so terribly happy when I was there! It was amazing! I enjoyed every song, I sang every song and I danced on every song. I was so happy that I finally saw them, I can’t really describe my feelings right now, and it was too amazing so I don’t have enough words for it.

You know the guy I like, Mark? Well, I’ll see him a little bit sooner than May 6! He’ll come to another show and that one will take place at 11 April! So, I’ll see him twice in less than a month! I can’t believe it that he wants to come to a show, for me! This must mean something, right?

But there is also something else. I kind of hate my class. They’re childish, unprofessional and not serious in their study. We had a maths test today. We have to make exercises and lessons to show the teacher that we understand the several assignments. After that, we can make the test. But almost everyone in my class cheated on those lessons by sending each other the answers. My teacher found out and he wanted to punish us all, by doing the test on Wednesday. Thankfully he decided to keep it as it way, on Friday.

But today, I heard several classmates talking about ten minutes for the test. How am I supposed to make a test in ten minutes? So I quickly looked at my account and luckily for me, mine was set on one hour. He only did it for the ones who made the lesson really quick (within five minutes) and with an A. I had an A too, but I made it with my dad. I’m not a cheater, and especially not with my classmates. I don’t trust them.

So my class was very pissed at him and our mentor came by. So he made a deal with the teacher. The test will be replaced to Wednesday. Of course I’m glad, but I can’t believe that he won’t punish those who cheated. I mean, it’s their fault. As long as I don’t get punished for something I didn’t do, then I don’t care if he punishes the ones who did something wrong.

And then there’s another thing. On Tuesday, one of or teachers told us that we could leave earlier, as long as we read the paragraph and if we made the assignment. So on Thursday, no one except for me and three others, made the assignment. She was very pissed and now she won’t let us go anymore.

My classmates are really ruining it for everyone. I truly hate them; they’re so annoying and childish. This is the reason why I always sit and work alone. They don’t do their work properly and they’re not serious at all. It’s not that I can’t work together or that I’m not social, but with them… I just don’t want to work with them.

Can you understand the way I think about this? And are you classmates also like this? What do you think of their actions?

Lots of love, ‘Daphne’

Songs I love | Crazy

Hey dear readers,

As you all may know, my (second) blog is called Feelings With Music. I can understand the question mark around the Music part. I was only telling about my personal feelings and not about music at all. But, I want to change that.

I want to describe my favorite songs, with the lyrics. I want to tell you guys why that song means so much to me and what the words do to me when I hear them. There are a few bands that have more than one song that I like, so sorry if you read two songs of one band in two weeks. I just choose my favorite songs that compare with my feelings on that day.

So, today, I want to talk about the song Crazy. The band Simple Plan made this song and as many of you know, I truly love this band. This song could be hard for some people, a little bit too harsh or negative. But, I’m gonna try to explain why I love this song, and when I listen to it.

Well, I listen to this song when I’m mad or when something happened that I didn’t like. I listened a lot to this song during my internship. I wasn’t always happy with the way I was treated and how they talked to me. So, thanks to my colleague and that song, I managed to survive and stay strong.  But this song also reminds me that the world is changing so quickly and that people always try to become a better version of them, because the world wants them to change. And that’s why I love this song. Pierre describes the question marks he has by those problems, and the strong lyrics are so much more than only words. They describe the whole situation.

Tell me what’s wrong with society
When everywhere I look, I see
Young girls dying to be on TV
They won’t stop till they’ve reached their dreams

Diet pills, surgery
Photo shopped pictures in magazines
Telling them how they should be
It doesn’t make sense to me

This describes exactly how I think about all those perfect things that people want. Why do girls need to be pretty, thin or famous? Why can’t a normal girl who’s not as thin as a model, but who has a heart full of joy and love, live like she wants? We destroy their trust in them and we develop the insecurity.

Is everybody going crazy?
Is anybody gonna save me?
Can anybody tell me what’s going on?
Tell me what’s going on?
If you open your eyes
You’ll see that something is wrong

I wonder every day, why is everyone so crazy? Why can’t people open their eyes when they need to? When they don’t see what’s going on with someone? When the world is so devastated and hurt, that something bad happens before they try to fix it? Is everybody going crazy?

I guess things are not how they used to be
There are no more normal families
Parents act like enemies
Making kids feel like its World War III

No one cares, no one’s there
I guess we’re all just too damn busy
And money’s our first priority.
It doesn’t make sense to me

Sadly, more and more people divorce when they have kids. They fight a lot and they give their children the feeling that it’s their fault. And when they got a divorce, one of them or even both, are always busy and trying to earn money. Not for the family, but for shopping and living rich. Why is that the most important thing in our lives? Isn’t love the most wonderful thing? And being there for your family? Being together?

Now comes the refrain one more time and two times the sentence: Is everybody going crazy?

Tell me what’s wrong with society
When everywhere I look I see
Rich guys driving big SUVs
While kids are starving in the streets

No one cares
No one likes to share
I guess life’s unfair

The rich people are always driving big cars and they can afford everything they want. But when do they look at the poor starving kids and women? It seems like no one cares, because their money is way too important to give to someone who’s poor. Why is life so unfair? That’s a very good question. Why is the world broken? Why don’t we try to fix it instead of destroying it any further?

Now the refrain comes two more times before the song ends.

Well, I guess the song has a clear message. I’ll place the link to the song under this post so that you can listen to it as well. Because the guitar solos are there to create life in the song. You’ll feel the true message of this song by listening to the instruments and of course Pierre’s voice.

What is your opinion about this? Do you agree that girls need to be perfect and that the rich people don’t share their money with the poor people?

Lots of love, ‘Daphne’

I feel good

Hello dear readers,

I got some bad news on Monday that the concert was postponed, for two weeks later. I was sad and anxious that my teacher wouldn’t say: Okay, you can leave early. But luckily, I can. I have to let him sign a piece of paper for that last hour. So now, I can go with the train to be there just in time. I can’t leave too early because I can’t miss that many lessons. But for now, I miss one lesson.

Something else, I got a huge grade for my internship! I got three grades in total. I got a grade for the communication, a grade for the marketing and a grade for the report. And all three of them added together, and divide by three, I got a very good grade and I’m very proud of myself.

And I also received an amazing grade for an English presentation! It’s almost an A! He said that my English was so good; he asked me how that was even possible. He said I could become an English teacher, and that I could write a book in English as well. And that’s exactly what I’m doing.

Something else that happened and I’m still really happy about it. I asked the guy I like, to go to a comedy show with me. I should go with a family member, but she needs to have surgery around that period, and so we aren’t sure if she can go with me. So, she said that I could ask someone else. And I thought:

Well, I can take the risk. I was really nervous when I asked him and he took very long to respond, so I got more and more nervous by the minute. But eventually, he said yes! I can’t believe that he wants to go with me! It’s like a dream came true! Because imagine this, we’re sitting next to each other, very closely, for like two hours. I really can’t wait for the show!

And I’m talking in a group chat on Twitter and Instagram with fans of Nathan. I made a best friend because we support each other and we give advice. We’ve become best friends now and we hope we can meet someday in England. I really hope I can go there someday to meet Nathan and her as well.

So, this post was really happy this time. I’m glad I could tell some nice things to you guys. I can’t wait for the concert and I can’t wait for the comedy show! I’m so glad Mark said yes! (I just call him Mark now, because that’s easier by calling him ‘guy’ all the time) I really hope May comes fast ^^

How are you feeling right now?

Lots of love, ‘Daphne’